


all dead, all dead

by wildhoneypot



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2russ if u squint sideways in a cave, Angst, Character Death, Diary, Family, Gen, moody, noodle pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-12 18:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildhoneypot/pseuds/wildhoneypot
Summary: noodle takes up journaling her thoughts years after its recommended to her, her timing is impeccable.





	1. 30/11/18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> double d day

__30/11/18

 

3 days. We didn’t notice for 3 days. We just let him sit there for 3 days.

And it won’t leave my mind.

There was no smell or knot in my stomach. We just let him rot there for 3 days. Seems like our “zen bond” was another lie.

He always joked about dying, and it didn’t mean too much. Everyone joked about his life, or lack thereof. But he just had to go and actually do it. Tosser. Russel said the last thing he heard from him was “could you leave me alone for a bit”?

Fuck.

And now I have to think about all kinds of stupid things like: “was he saying goodbye????” 

Okay so, a therapist from however long ago said it was good to write out my thoughts. I figured there was no better time to start. That’s why I’m here. Hello. I’m “Noodle” ... “Guitarist of Gorillaz”.. whatever. But you know that. You’ve been in my box of shit that I cram in the closet for a while.

The big day happened. He’s gone. Our “black eyed boy”.  ~~A certain someone’s meal ticket.~~  I’m guessing and hoping he just didn’t wake up. He’s left me here wondering how we didn’t notice him for 3 days. 3 days? 3 DAYS???????? And I only noticed something was wrong when Russel was screaming “what did you do what did you do!!!”. That would cause concern in anyone, right? But ~~I thought~~

 

~~I thought that~~

~~I assumed that M~~

~~abcdefghijklmno~~

~~p~~

I’ve run out of things to say.

His mother is coming soon, we have to make plans. I really don’t want 3 days to become 4. I haven’t had it in me to go into his room and look yet. And I’ve been on lukewarm terms with Rachel since I was 11, today’s going to be a gas.

I only touched her hair once. You gotta chill, Rachel.

 

Okay, later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just an idea i had a while ago since they’re on hiatus or whatever, might keep going. noodle must keep so much to herself.


	2. 30/11/18 - later

30/11/18- later

 

Rachel brought a baby picture. He looks so different and healthy in it. Black hair, brown eyes. Like me.

She wants a private service.

Well, we weren’t invited. We weren’t banned... but she didn’t really drop an address. It’s only fair. She must be lonely, 2D was her only child, and he was damn near stolen from her. We never let him see her enough.

It’s already been 3 days (although I’m not even sure about that anymore) and she says it’s custom to bury ASAP. ... I think. News to me. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention, my head’s been foggy, and I keep looking all over the place. There was something about a “death plan” he had. Also news to me. Not like he ever talked to us about anything so serious. ~~Not like we would listen~~. Something about a white cloth. Something about his father. Something about being torn between chants or prayers. I can’t remember. All I can remember is going “uh-huh” at her over and over.

She had some people help her take his body. Maybe his cousins. I hated it. He was in day clothes and his mouth was open like he was in shock. His hands were the way he used to put them when he was nervous. But, they were all twisted and fat. He looked like an abandoned mannequin. Purple and dull. I didn’t recognize him. I don’t want to know what happened. I never want to know what happened.

Rachel was so calm and it was weird.

Murdoc is nowhere to be seen and I’m too busy pretending to be surprised to care.

 

 

I couldn’t recognize him


	3. (1/12/18)

~~WHY DIDNT HE TALK TO ME WHY DIDNT I LET HIM TALK TO ME~~


	4. 3/12/18

 

3/12/18

The word is out.

“GORILLAZ FRONTMAN 2-D DIES ‘UNEXPECTEDLY’ AT THE AGE OF 40!!!!”

I’m guessing it’s been... 3 days since he left? I’m not sure right now. 

I scrolled through every reaction and post even though I know I wasn’t ready like some kind of idiot. Too many of them are so fake. “Unexpectedly.” As if everyone who knew about Gorillaz wasn’t completely shocked he even made it to 40. “Too soon.” As if we didn’t say he was dead and laugh when we saw him napping. “I wish I knew.” Did you? Knew what???? I don’t know what anyone is even talking about. Everyone is so full of shit. 

I could feel myself gag at every picture at him with a little halo or something edited in. If I see one more 8 ball emoji I will full on throw up. “Sweet Blu Boi”. That Cherry girl wrote a novel of a tweet(s). I never knew that they were cousins. It’s easy to see her being a Pot. The other two in her group signed onto the message as well. I didn’t even know they knew each other. They must have, that’s the only message I’ve seen so far that seems genuine. I’m hoping I broke my phone throwing it so I’m not tempted to read any more.

And at least I can say that here.. Could you imagine if I said any of this out loud? People would be starting “beef” between me and my dead ~~brother~~ friend. They would be trying to dig him up and beat a diss track out of his corpse.

I don’t know why all these thoughts are coming to me all of a sudden. I don’t know why I’m so... defensive? I don’t know. I want to delete my socials, my phone has been pinging non stop. I haven’t moved from my bed all day, just reacting to the noise. Ping ping brrrrring ping hey Noodle hey Noodle ping ping hey Noodle. Fuck you.

 

I can’t find Katsu.


End file.
